Plague
The year was long and summer
imposed itself on us like an obligation,
I remember the whole town seemed to sink under the weight of it.
July brought with it a recombinant, orange haze
that swarmed the streets in the afternoon, and even the platoons
of teenagers had conceded their parking-lot jurisdiction
to the indoors.
That summer you were like a factory, and
I was your column of smoke: the pollution
of your machine.
At night, I walk up the road to the abandoned industrial park,
past the mounds of twisted rubble and old conduits
strung-out along the embankments of the company lake.
This town will wear you down.
Brian,
ReplyDeleteThere are some really interesting things going on in this draft. I really want to know more about about the relationship the speaker has to the person in Stanza 3. I adore the "I was your column of smoke: the pollution on your machine", but it left me yearning for more.
Also, could this draft be rooted in a real place? The language is already there, but a little expansion might help engage the senses a little more. Where is the industrial park located? Those are just a few things to think about.
Brian, there are some fantastic images, particularly early on. Check out Brian Henry's book QUARANTINE. It may just help you with this idea.
ReplyDelete